David's Letter

I'm feeling this deep emptiness, I don't know. Sometimes, I just can't understand why things you always wish for, things you spend time waiting for so long, things that you always yearn to have... are the ones that have to leave first.

I just don't get the point of wanting things when you don't even get to have them forever. Yes, maybe I'm just said he's leaving. No, not maybe... I am really sad. Though "us" was just a short-lived story not known to everyone, I cherished, cherish and will still continue to cherish every bit of moment that was spent. I never thought falling for someone so naive could be this hard. That innocent mind which I opened to the world will now start living a life on its own.

Dear Robert,

I'm not sure how to put everything into words but hopefully I'd get them right. I thank you very much for spending time with me. I never regret that moment I stood up and approached you by that bar. Torpe nako kung torpe pero at least di ako naging olats sayo. You know you're the first guy I ever got with. Oo, siguro nga nasa curious part pako kaya thank you kasi naintindihan mo ng husto kung anong pinagdaraanan ko. I never felt you rushing me kahit alam ko meju sanay ka na sa mga ganito. Actually, kinilig ako nung time na sinabi mo sakin na crush na crush mo pala ako. Di ko kasi inasahan na parehas pala tayo. Thanks for that ice cream you bought me kahit may sakit ako nun. I know nagmukha akong bata nung nagmakaawa ako sayo na bilhan mo ako nun kahit pinagbawalan mo ako pero binilhan mo parin ako. I don't hear it much from you pero salamat for telling me you love me too. Nagdalawang-isip nga akong tumuloy sa Dubai when I heard you say it the other day (kahit whatever lang yung sinagot mo, I know you tried to say "i love you too") kaso ikaw naman tong mapilit na umalis ako. I know you have your reasons pero di ko na lang siguro kukulitin kung ano man yung mga yun.

Hopefully by the time I go back home, you're still the same. I'm no sweet talker, obvious naman sa letter na 'to. I can't even put my ideas in an organized manner. In fairness, dalawa pa lang yung mga mahal ko na nasulatan ko na: si (insert name of ex gf) at ikaw. I barely write letters because I'm not good with words when written pero I tried my best to finish this piece of art. Sana man lang pagbalik ko anjan ka parin. Alam ko baka matagal kaya di na siguro kita masisisi kung magkaroon ka na ng iba pagbalik ko. I mean, kahit naman siguro ako posible ding magkapartner. I just can't imagine myself being with somebody else kasi. Bert, salamat, salamat, salamat. Please take my gift. It's the only thing I know will remind you of me. Alam ko matagal mo na yang gusto kunin sa kamay ko kaya lang di ko binibigay sayo kasi senti value eh. Lam mo naman my brother gave it to me before he left for Europe. Now I'm giving it to you, not because I'm saying you're already the one. This is for helping me open my heart to you, helping me open my eyes to the wider world I'm now in.

Oo nga pala, I want to say I love you. Even though we'll never be, hopefully someday our paths will cross again. I know sometime, somewhere, our ends will meet again. I'm trying my best not to sound as cheezy as I can but because of you, eto, nagiging jologs ako. I love you... I love you... I love you...

David

He left me that letter. He told me to read it by the time he's inside the plane already. Friday pa flight niya pero I got kinda excited and anxious getting this letter from him. Bakit pa kasi binigay ahead of time. Up until now, my cheeks are wet from traces of tears continuously falling down from my face. Oo, hindi lang naman ako puro landi, meju hopeless romantic lang talaga ako.

To David: sorry if I didn't follow your strict instructions. Don't worry, I won't tell you I opened it already.

I know "us" and "we" will never be.... :'(

xoxo
Much Love