A Sad Start

My new year doesn't seem to be too happy at all. I don't know if it's getting worse or what. My bestfriend and I have been friends since we were 12. Since then, we have been quite close with each other. We may not be the closest of all, but surely I know we were the best of friends.

I haven't seen Tessa for quite a very long time now. I have been too caught up with work reason for me not to be able to communicate to most of my long time friends including her. I know, too, she is busy with her academics and with her significant other. Just the other week, she celebrated her birthday. I sent her a text message to send her my greetings but I didn't get any response in return. Also, I tried to greet her through facebook but unfortunately, she wasn't in my list anymore which suddenly confused me. So I tried to browse through her blog to see how she was doing. I was happy to hear she received a laptop from her parents as a birthday present. I failed to give her any this year since we weren't able to see each other. But as I read her next entry, I knew... I really knew she was talking about me. I felt down when she implicitly made a statement saying how she felt indifferent towards me. I suddenly understood why she was out of my facebook list, or should I say, I was out of her facebook list. She always had this idea that I was taking her for granted. Maybe because some of our common friends thought so, and told her about it. It just made me feel so bad knowing how she feels about me.

I was actually looking for her since the last time we saw each other. Unfortunately, she spends most of her time with her boyfriend which I wouldn't wanna mess up. I didn't know she'd think about me that way but I can't blame her. It maybe my mistake as well to a certain extent. I just hope someday I get to talk to her and check what's wrong. I tried to send her a personal message and I'm still awaiting to see a reply from her if in case she'd take time to read it. Anyway, I'll try to stay happy (although it hurts inside) as I wouldn't want to sulk and ruin the start of my whole year.

Once again, have a happy new year guys.


xoxo
Much Love